Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
