As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
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