Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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