I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize