My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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