That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
