he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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