just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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