HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
