I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
