Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
