I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize