he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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