drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
