So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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