when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
