last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sorry my hands just texted you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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