So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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