it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was like eating out sand paper
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize