i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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