Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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