He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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