she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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