how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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