You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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