Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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