so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize