I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize