Whats the glycemic index on semen?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
