Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
