No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
