I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We talked him into tasing himself.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
