I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
