Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
