Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
