some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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