you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
