Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
