Kiss
Puke
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
