Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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