I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
