I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How does it feel to date your dad?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
