you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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