You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
