i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
