Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
