I just made out with a guy for $7.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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