thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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