This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
