did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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