my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize