We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
