Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
