Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize