ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
