Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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