i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize