i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
