dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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