is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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