I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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